Last week I chatted with Memphis musician Alex da Ponte about singing, specifically, what it’s like for a singer-songwriter to transition and rediscover their voice. “Music is my outlet,” he tells me. “I never stopped singing.”
The first thing Alex told me during our interview was surprising … and also, not at all surprising. “My voice is respected more, all of a sudden, as a male. I’m interrupted a lot less.” I was speechless when he told me this. “We know these things, right?” He says. “We hear all the time about how men’s voices are listened to more than women’s voices. That’s a fact we know, but experiencing both sides of that is wild.” What a profound experience, to exist in the world in this way. Here I was ready to ask Alex all about his voice when it comes to singing and performing his songs, but I didn’t think about voice as the instrument we each possess to be heard, to be ourselves. This voice that we hope someone is listening to.
“My voice change has been a challenge musically, but also now when I speak there’s so much more weight to what I’m saying,” Alex explains. “It’s bittersweet. I’m the same person speaking, so why all of a sudden, because I’m presenting male, do my words mean more?”
His voice was one of the things that was holding Alex back from transitioning. “I was so scared to lose my singing voice. That was a huge deal to me. Singing is everything to me. Now I realize that it’s more important than I ever even knew.”
When Alex did decide to move forward with his transition, he reached out to a well-known vocal coach who has worked with some huge industry names, and Alex was surprised when the coach agreed to work with him. That experience allowed Alex to think about his voice differently, and he realized that even though he would sound different, he could still sing. It would just take work. “That was a huge moment for me. I had to work toward something that has always come easily,” he explained.
Two years into testosterone Alex tells me that his voice has settled to where it’s likely to stay, and now he gets to go back through his musical catalogue and re-record some of his past songs with a new sound. “I have to rearrange my songs a little to make them accessible in the way they were before,” he explains. He is reclaiming older songs and allowing them to transition with him. “It’s interesting now to think about how I relate to my past songs. It feels like I’m giving them to someone else, a different artist, because it’s no longer my voice.”
“Century of Ghosts” will be released in March, and you can listen to Alex’s entire catalogue on Spotify, Apple Music, or wherever you get your music. Alex says that he would never take down his old recordings, because they’re part of him too.
A few years ago, Alex was married and raising his son and thought his life was going to go in a certain direction, but now he’s beginning to embrace his new life as a trans man and single dad.
“I thought I knew what my future looked like. It was a vulnerable time. It took time,” he explains. Now Alex feels like his interior energy finally matches his exterior. “Making my way through the world feels easier and more comfortable. When I see myself in the mirror, what’s reflected back is finally congruent with what I’ve always felt I was.”
Discover more about Alex’s upcoming projects on his website, where you can also connect to his socials.
Hey there. Laura Leigh here. I’m a wife, writer, mama, small business owner, podcast host, and the Head of Content here at Pink Robin.
I love supporting the queer community and bringing shared experiences to life.
If you have a story to tell, I’m here for it.
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I remember when my wife and I first became moms, I knew that our ability to “pass” was behind us. I was never going to pretend that my wife and family were something other than exactly who they were. It was freeing to know that I had to live my queer life out loud, that I would forever be myself in every space, all the time.
In a 2023 CNN article Daniel Korschun, associate professor of marketing at Drexel University explained that when it comes to supporting the LGBTQ+ community, executives “are becoming much more skittish about taking these stands and making strong statements.
According to a 2022 Pew Research Poll, roughly eight-in-ten U.S. adults say there is at least some discrimination against transgender people in our society. Because trans rights have become such a contentious issue across the country, companies that used to view supporting pride as “low stakes” have become less likely to support the LGBTQ+ community as a whole. “The pendulum is swinging a bit back … toward a more conservative approach, where they’ll be less vocal,” says Korschun. According to a recent NBC News article, Target stores will only sell pride merchandise in select locations this year. The retailer will not have Pride collections in about half of their locations. Additionally, they will only sell pride merchandise for adults.
An argument that Target has made in the past and is now using again is that this decision protects their LGBTQ+ employees, but let’s be clear: Conditional allyship is not support. Pulling queer merchandise from their shelves and essentially pretending that we don’t exist–and ignoring those of us who have children that want to celebrate pride with us–is detrimental to our community. Erasure threatens our safety. This weekend my mom told me that she’s done with Target. Like her, I can’t say I feel good about spending my money in a place that doesn’t value my family. As of today, the ACLU is currently tracking 515 anti-LGBTQ bills in the U.S. We exist, and abandoning us only endangers us.
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