I’m so excited to kick off Pride Month by sharing highlights from my interview with Kevin Maxen.
An assistant strength and conditioning coach for the Jacksonville Jaguars football team from 2021-2025, he made history as the first openly gay male coach in a major U.S.-based professional league.
When Kevin came out in an interview with Outsports in 2023, he “didn’t think it would be a big deal.” Not long after, he was at a bar with some buddies and saw his name scrolling across the bottom of the TV screen. “There was my name on ESPN. I wasn’t expecting that.”
When I ask Kevin about what it was like to come out as gay in a macho, hetero-dominated profession, he tells me that there was no event that triggered the decision, no one reason. It was just time. “My family and most close friends already knew. It was just ripping off the band aid.” He was blown away by the support he received, and tells me he was really proud of the way the organization handled it. “Everyone was fine with it. It didn’t change a thing. It was fantastic.”
Kevin understands that not everyone who comes out is received with support, and he never takes his community for granted. “I’m also Black and Jewish, but to them [the Jacksonville Jaguars], I’m Kev. I’m very fortunate. I wish everybody had that same experience.”
Kevin believes wholeheartedly in being a good person and helping others. It was a refrain throughout our conversation, and it’s apparent to me that this is something he thinks about in his daily life. “What I learned in coaching at that level is that what people want is for you to care about them and be a good person … It helps to just be authentically you.” Kevin appreciates that intensity of being in a profession that embodies a stereotype of toxic masculinity. “I think sometimes people in these areas put extra pressure on themselves to fit in, or hide who they really are, and I don’t think that helps at all.”
After his years in Florida, Kevin is back at home in Connecticut and spending more time with his family. When the Jaguars hired a new head coach in January, Kevin and the rest of the supporting staff were released. There are currently no out male coaches in the NFL, or any other American pro league. Kevin says he is happy to be home to “refocus and recenter,” as he figures out his next move. “I missed the seasons. I missed the trees. I missed the hills.”
Kevin is currently working as a strength specialist for Pride Fit, a fitness app for queer people, and this month you can find him on a panel at the Athlete Ally Summit in Portland, Oregon. He says he’s both excited and nervous. “Hopefully it leads to more opportunities to have these types of conversations and continue this dialogue.”
Kevin acknowledges that it can be frustrating when progress isn’t achieved faster. We even laughed about how ridiculous it is that “coming out” in 2023 made national news. “It’s difficult when you realize how slow of a process it is, and unfortunately, there are gate keepers. You gotta keep being positive and encouraging others to have the courage to be themselves,” he says. Kevin doesn’t think of himself as brave for coming out, but I believe we can all agree that being a coach in the NFL–in Florida, no less–and living an openly gay life takes some courage.
Kevin believes in being yourself, and giving others the courage to change their own minds. “There’s courage in people accepting that the way they were thinking about things was wrong,” he says. “It’s giving people the courage to change their own minds. If we can do that, it’s the most important thing.”
When I ask Kevin what queer joy means to him, he says it’s being himself. “I think the one thing we need to keep in mind is we have the choice to look at things positively or negatively, and it would do everyone a lot of good to be a positive light … I express that joy by trying to share it with people. I want to give other people the courage to be themselves.”
Hey there. Laura Leigh here. I’m a wife, writer, mama, small business owner, podcast host, and the Head of Content here at Pink Robin.
I love supporting the queer community and bringing shared experiences to life.
If you have a story to tell, I’m here for it.
la********@pi***********.com
I remember when my wife and I first became moms, I knew that our ability to “pass” was behind us. I was never going to pretend that my wife and family were something other than exactly who they were. It was freeing to know that I had to live my queer life out loud, that I would forever be myself in every space, all the time.
In a 2023 CNN article Daniel Korschun, associate professor of marketing at Drexel University explained that when it comes to supporting the LGBTQ+ community, executives “are becoming much more skittish about taking these stands and making strong statements.
According to a 2022 Pew Research Poll, roughly eight-in-ten U.S. adults say there is at least some discrimination against transgender people in our society. Because trans rights have become such a contentious issue across the country, companies that used to view supporting pride as “low stakes” have become less likely to support the LGBTQ+ community as a whole. “The pendulum is swinging a bit back … toward a more conservative approach, where they’ll be less vocal,” says Korschun. According to a recent NBC News article, Target stores will only sell pride merchandise in select locations this year. The retailer will not have Pride collections in about half of their locations. Additionally, they will only sell pride merchandise for adults.
An argument that Target has made in the past and is now using again is that this decision protects their LGBTQ+ employees, but let’s be clear: Conditional allyship is not support. Pulling queer merchandise from their shelves and essentially pretending that we don’t exist–and ignoring those of us who have children that want to celebrate pride with us–is detrimental to our community. Erasure threatens our safety. This weekend my mom told me that she’s done with Target. Like her, I can’t say I feel good about spending my money in a place that doesn’t value my family. As of today, the ACLU is currently tracking 515 anti-LGBTQ bills in the U.S. We exist, and abandoning us only endangers us.
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