The time has finally come for long lazy days sitting around watching movies, eating snacks, and wearing pajamas. What to watch … Something the whole family can agree on? Nahhhh. I vote for queer holiday programming with low budgets and mediocre acting and oh-so-much artificial snow.
Historically, I am not a fan of Hallmark style holiday movies. All the trees have leaves and snow. Everyone falls in love very quickly, and I feel like what could be a 30-minute storyline is dragged out for an hour and a half. But alas, I myself should slow down, especially this time of year, so I am giving in to holiday romance and tuning in for some queer Christmas magic.
Here’s a round-up of what’s on, what I recommend, and what I suffered through so you don’t have to.
First, the one we all know and love/hate. The one I added to this month’s What You Need Now, because it really does deserve a rewatch if it’s been a few years. The Happiest Season is a 2020 holiday rom-com that made a lot of viewers angry. Click that link above to hear about my least favorite scene.
The premise of the film–if you haven’t seen it yet–is that Abby (Kristen Stewart) is planning to propose to her girlfriend Harper (Mackenzie Davis) during Christmas with Harper’s family. What Abby doesn’t know until they’re on their way, however, is that Mackenzie is not out to her family. Shenanigans ensue. This is meant to be a holiday rom-com but it’s actually quite loaded for any queer person to watch, because I think we have all been here, in one form or another.
Introducing your significant other to family when you’re a queer couple–whether you’re already out or not, whether everyone is “cool” with it or not–is a lot of emotional work. If I were to really look back and examine my behavior from early in my relationship, I would unearth some cringe-worthy memories. It’s all part of the process. So yea, I kinda wish Abby had hooked up with Aubrey Plaza’s character, or just bailed on the whole thing, but then we wouldn’t have a movie. Stream on Hulu tonight and let me know what you think.
Looking for a little more WLW? Look no further than Christmas at the Ranch, a 2021 “contemporary western” meets holiday romance that was painfully slow and riddled with plot holes and tired clichés. Even imdb has little to say about his one, besides “When Haley Hollis returns to her family ranch to try and save it from closure, she wasn’t banking on spending so much time with ranch hand Kate – or falling for her.” That copy is a mess!
Okay. Okay. I watched the whole thing. I didn’t even fast-forward through most of the slow scenes–my usual move–because my wife was asleep next to me, and the remote was on her side of the bed, and I was a touch hungover and feeling particularly lazy … There’s a happy ending for the ranch, and the cowgirl, and the small-town girl who left the ranch and moved to the big city but finally realized where her heart truly belonged.
The scene that really made me nuts? Haley walks some hot cocoa over to Kate during a blizzard and oh my gosh the weather has gotten so bad that she cannot make it back to the house next door. Naturally, the two have to share the only bed in the cozy little cottage. When the sun comes up the next morning there is no snow on the ground. Do these movies forego continuity altogether?! Am I an absolute Scrooge here? Am I asking too much? There’s a cute kiss, some dead parents, and Christmas at the Ranch, like most holiday movies, is pretty tame. Believe me when I tell you, you can watch this with your family. There are no awkward moments and minimal sexual tension. If you’re not feeling sold, did I mention there are horses? Stream now on Amazon Prime.
Okay, here’s a new holiday romance with a house-swap trope! I’m not going to lie, I did hit the fast-forward button while watching this one. The Holiday Exchange is the most vanilla MM Christmas love story you can possibly imagine, and I’m here for it. Wealthy, successful, single men looking for love? Tired of spending their holidays alone? Just waiting for a kiss beneath the mistletoe? Why not?
There’s a real housewife playing the main character’s mom, and you can probably tell that I don’t want this franchise because I didn’t know which one she is, but thanks to Google I can tell you now that it’s Kyle Richards. Stream now on Prime.
Speaking of famous moms, I haven’t yet caught the 2020 Fran Drescher flick The Christmas Setup, but it’s on my list for this week’s holigay viewing. I appreciate that so many of these films feature supportive families, so we can just focus on the weak scripts and queer romance.
A solid MM romance, in my opinion, is Single All the Way, on Netflix. Adorable lead characters and a little friends-to-lovers romance make this one especially watchable, but the big kiss left a little something to be desired, in my humble opinion.
I also haven’t watched 2022’s Merry & Gay (though I do love the name) but you can check out the trailer here. It’s streaming on Peacock, and it looks pretty mediocre, however, I have a brand new big fat crush on its star, Andi René Christensen. They’re a babe.
Finally, our founder Erica will tell you that Carol is a holiday movie, and maybe it is. But it’s a downer, guys. A beautiful downer. You can catch it on Netflix. Now,can someone pleeeeease remake Love, Actually with a queer storyline?!
Hey there. Laura Leigh here. I’m a wife, writer, mama, small business owner, podcast host, and the Head of Content here at Pink Robin.
I love supporting the queer community and bringing shared experiences to life.
If you have a story to tell, I’m here for it.
la********@pi***********.com
